Bringing Baby Cantrell Home!

Hi friends! A LOT has been happening around here lately. G left one career field for another, our family got smaller by 3 kittens and we have been working tirelessly to help us raise what we need for our adoption fund. We have two events going on Facebook right now and EVERYONE is invited! We have a t-shirt and bracelet fundraiser located here: https://www.facebook.com/events/414820911986291/415205361947846/?comment_id=415706495231066¬if_t=event_mall_comment We also have an auction going here: https://www.facebook.com/events/613692545366725/ We have really stepped it up and it's going pretty well so far. :) We have to sell 50 of the t-shirts by March 12 or Bonfire will refund all of the buyers but we know WE CAN DO THIS with our friends help! Please join us and invite your friends. We will bring Baby Cantrell home!! Thank you all for following us, sending prayers, support, positive energy and sharing everything we put out. We know we couldn't do it without you!! So long for now. K

Where are The Beatles (Fab Four) Fans Out There?

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby Beatles fan for 5 years now. We have had several miscarriages and twins born at 18 weeks who did not survive. I am selling several of my private collection Beatles albums to help offset adoption costs. Below you can find links to the albums on eBay. These albums are all Original Pressings and in Near Mint/Mint- condition. Thank you for taking a look and happy bidding! Warm regards and God Bless, George

IMAGE SOURCE: johnrieber.com

Penny Lane/Strawberry Fields Forever Capitol Swirl http://www.ebay.com/itm/201031056546?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 Hey Jude/Revolution Apple Label http://www.ebay.com/itm/201031057932?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band http://www.ebay.com/itm/201031058929?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 Let It Be http://www.ebay.com/itm/201031059120?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 Meet The Beatles(Mono) http://www.ebay.com/itm/201031060788?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 The Beatles(White Album) The serial number on the album is A1808270. http://www.ebay.com/itm/201031062696?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

Our Decision to Adopt.

HI friends! Our new blog post is located on Bubblews because we get paid for every like, view and share from the article site and these earnings are credited to our adoption fund. Please visit our article here: http://www.bubblews.com/news/2192992-our-decision-to-adopt

Thank you all for being with us on this journey and showing your faith in us! So long for now. G

An Auction for a Baby??

Hi all! As many readers know, we have been trying to have a baby for almost five years. After three 2nd trimester losses and several miscarriages, we've learned that I require a surgery to make a healthy baby a reality for us. We've tried every possible thing we can think of to raise the $8,000.00 we need for the surgery because insurance doesn't cover it. Some people have asked what we are doing to raise the funds for this surgery. We've got a few things going in hopes of reaching this goal before I reach 'that' age where it isn't realistic anymore. Well....it's gotten a little better for us. A friend of ours created an online auction ( https://www.facebook.com/NavyVetsSurgery ) to help us reach our baby fund goal! There are a BUNCH of items up now and we will add more as we can. Some people are even donating their items to be used in the auction. All the proceeds will be credited to the Baby Cantrell Fund! We feel blessed to have a small group of AWESOME friends who've been with us through this journey and offered their support in all sorts of ways.

We are saving what we can from our pay checks. I have some trickling Knotty Wicks orders. I'm a rep for Jewelry in Candles, The Cantrell Family Fundraiser, the articles I write for Bubblews ( http://www.bubblews.com/account/119567-wishingforbaby ) which pay me for every like/dislike/comment and share. I complete menu images for zMenu, we just managed to get 17 of my Cabbage Patch dolls sold to a lovely friend of ours, we held the Hero event (most of you are aware how that went and we are still waiting on media coverage). ALL the money I make from the work listed above is credited to our surgical fund. We have a blog where everyone can follow our progress and learn more about why we are doing this, learn a little about our angels, etc. and it is enabled to receive revenue for each ad readers click on when reading. We also have a crowd fundraising page. There are NO fees to us on this page. We have researched and they are a legitimate company. We are really trying to find a way to earn these funds but have now reached out for help because we realize we can't do it alone. We are trying to keep hope and we are doing everything we can to raise this money. We pray every day that we reach this goal. We don't want anything more than to have a healthy baby and we are going to keep faith that we will. :) I'll update when we have anything exciting to report. :) So long for now!

Navy Veteran's Only Wish | Medical Expenses - YouCaring.com

Navy Veteran's Only Wish | Medical Expenses - YouCaring.com

December 20, 2013 is a BIG Day for Praying for Baby Cantrell!

Hi friends! As many of you know, we have been trying to earn and save for the funds for the surgery we need to have a healthy baby (almost $8,000) for over a year. We've saved, penny pinched, created Knotty Wicks Candle & Soap Co., I took to paid blogging, selling Jewelry In Candles candles....you name it, we tried it. Well.....a lot of our hard work has finally begun to pay off. We have an account on the Hero Network.

The Hero Network has graciously offered to provide us with a Text to Donate day to help us raise funds for Baby Cantrell! to participate..Simply text 'WISH' to 80077 on December 20th. Donations are $5, completed from a mobile device. Please ensure you reply 'YES' for your donation to count. The rules are simple and everyone can attend so PLEASE SHARE this event and please invite everyone you know! :) We have ONE day to raise as much as we can so please help us make this go viral! This is a public event, has been shared on multiple news outlets, social media pages and shared via text. PLEASE SHARE AND REPOST THE INFORMATION WITH THE LINK BELOW! Even if you cannot donate, we welcome you to join us in support. Thank you all so much for your support and sharing this event to help us reach our goal! ;)

You can also view our Hero Network account, our activity and ways we have granted others wishes here: http://heronetwork.com/wish/index?id=1511623 *******We have been advised by event coordinators with the Hero Network to share our event link and get the word out as much as possible before our ONE DAY TEXT TO DONATE Event for Baby Cantrell! We have created a Facebook event where everyone can join together for updates, links, even verbiage for posts. ;) Please visit us and join the event at this link: https://www.facebook.com/events/653310661378327/

Image Source: http://ellecandco.com/post/13882583945/love-this-movie

DETAILS AND RULES of Text to Donate: "$5.00 donation to Wish Upon A Hero. Charges will appear on your wireless bill, or be deducted from your prepaid balance. All purchases must be authorized by account holder. YOU MUST TEXT 'YES' for your donation to be officially accepted for Baby Cantrell's fundraiser. Must be 18 years of age or have parental permission to participate. Message and Data Rates May Apply. Text STOP to 80077 to STOP. Text HELP to 80077 for HELP. Full Terms: mGive.org/T. Privacy Policy"

The Minimum Wage Increase Debate in the U.S.

Hi all! A subject of hot debate right now is the potential to increase The United States Minimum Wage. The President has decided to support a bill to increase the minimum wage here to $10.10 USD per hour from $7.25 USD per hour.

Naturally, a LOT of U.S. citizens, and even those who aren't, have a lot to say about it. Many argue that if we raise the minimum wage, prices for everything will increase. The most heated argument in recent years is over the issue of this potential wage increase. Of course, those with the most to say are the people who make well above the minimum wage and still want to hoard their millions instead of paying for cost of living increases. Some fast food workers have also gone on strike in an effort to have their wages raised to $15 USD per hour. Additionally, a meme (photo) of military workers, gun in hand in a battle zone with the quote by Sarah Palin claiming that our Military makes LESS than minimum wage and people expect to make $15 USD per hour for 'flipping a burger'. Following is my personal opinion on the situation.

IMAGE Source: http://ursulav.deviantart.com/art/Strong-Opinions-52137900

For those who are whining and complaining about raising the minimum wage, you need a reality check. Have YOU tried to support a family on minimum wage? Minimum wage at PART TIME because companies can't 'afford' to offer insurance for full time employees due to Obamacare? I know, your next argument will be that the ones who want a raise should go to college and get better jobs. Let me tell you that I have a college education, a good amount still yet to pay in student loans and am not working in my field. Not even close to my field because there are no openings after having to leave my last position because services were transferred to another county to cut costs. I have friends who live in Canada who are nothing short of astonished at the way the U.S. treats their citizens. In fact, one of my Canadian friends said, "It's really sad. It's almost like the U.S. wants their citizens broke, sick and homeless." I'm not saying pay $15 an hour but a reasonable increase is way past due. I think $10 per hour is reasonable. Do you realize that while the cost of living has increased at a dramatic and consistent rate, minimum wage has increased by pennies on the dollar during all that time? Increasing the minimum wage would also cut down on welfare dependency, thereby decreasing the funds spent on it. Those funds could help with other things this country desperately needs.....like a decent, EFFECTIVE health care system. There is a serious problem when the CEO's of some companies, including a local one here, make over a half million dollars a year PLUS stock options and 'bonuses' so he/she can golf, ski and take vacations; while their employees are struggling to keep food on the table. Many companies don't even offer *small* Christmas bonuses, not necessarily monetary in nature, to the employees who bust hump all year long to keep the CEO's in their million dollar homes and vacations. It's ridiculous. Yes...I saw the post from Sarah Palin about Soldiers making less than minimum wage. What PLANET is that on?? I can tell you, for a fact, as a spouse of a Navy Veteran, it's not this country at least. Stop whining about increasing the minimum wage and do what's right so EVERY family can thrive, not just the ones deemed important by others with their own interests at heart.

IMAGE Source: Businessinsider.com

~~~~~~As you can see, I'm less than pleased with the current wage here in the U.S. and the debate about whether to raise it. I'm absolutely disgusted by Sarah Palin's blatant LIE to further her own agenda. I have friends who cannot provide a Christmas for their families because they can't afford it. I'm not talking about a small fortune in Christmas gifts and an extravagant dinner with a ski trip to Aspen. I'm talking about a decent meal and a Christmas tree..to help get into the spirit. I realize that is not what Christmas is about and so do they but would you like to see the heartbreak on their faces as they try to explain to their families that Christmas will not happen this year? Would you like to see their children's faces as they try to explain, without breaking into tears themselves, why Santa won't visit their homes? All of this happens in homes around America as CEO's are jetting off to other countries for Christmas vacation holidays. Maybe the working class should trade places with the CEO's for a day and see what happens to the wages in this Country after that day. It likely won't happen but it's something to ponder. So long for now, K

Jewelry In Candles!

Hi Friends!

I have recently become a rep for Jewelry in Candles! Jewelry in Candles gives you a choice! Choose your candle scent, *your* size in ring, a necklace or earrings! How great is that?! Jewelry that fits YOU in the scent you choose! Visit our website, have a peek and place your order today to ensure delivery before the holidays at the link right there ~~>! https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/khrysticantrell

SOURCE of PHOTO: http://worlegifts.com/BabyFundPotOfDreams

My commissions from these sales will still be credited to our surgical fund! If you are interested in candles but are not interested in the jewelry, we also have a new site with a small selection of candles, ornaments and gift cookie mixes too! You can find that site here: http://knottywickscandles.weebly.com/

Our Most Recent Loss on Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Hi friends. Today, October 15, 2013, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

We always extend our greatest sympathies to families learning to live with loss and keep them in our prayers but even more so today. Not only is this intensely personal for us but with our loss yesterday, today has even greater meaning. There is NO loss like that of a child and while we know that no words ease the pain, we are TRULY sorry for each and every loss. A parent should *never*, under any circumstance, have to feel the soul-piercing agony of burying their child. We hope that, some day, there will be technology to save pregnancies and babies who are not considered viable today. If you know someone struggling with loss, PLEASE do *NOT* tell them to get over it, move on or that it was for the best. We never get over this loss and feeling this grief is NEVER the best for anyone. If you cannot find the words to offer comfort or just don't know what to say, simply tell the grieving parent/s that you're sorry for their loss and understand that they need time to accept their 'new' lives. No words can offer a grieving family comfort but knowing that you care *DOES*. It helps them to know that you don't minimize their sense of loss and that they're baby is not dismissed or forgotten.

I was struggling with whether to even post this but decided I should since our followers are a part of our lives now, good and bad. On the 12th, we had a positive pregnancy test and confirmation. We only told close family and those on our private pages for many reasons but of the many, one was the fear that things might not go well as they have before. After a doctor's appointment, something was just not right. It was confirmed late last night that we lost our baby. We knew the reality of this but were praying for the best anyway. In light of this, we have decided to close Knotty Wicks and turn inward for a while. We need to focus on healing from this loss and, eventually, make plans to continue save for the surgery. It was *not* an easy decision nor one we take lightly. It is just that we have come to the point where Knotty Wicks seems to be a LOT more work than I can handle right now, with work, family life, the site and product expenses are making profit VERY difficult and the sole purpose for Knotty Wicks was to earn the funds for the surgery. We are leaving our fund raiser, found here: http://celebrateplus.com/event_detail.php?eve_id=432 , up for the moment and will continue to share here and on our Cantrell Family Fund Raiser page on Facebook periodically. Thank you all so much for your support, prayers, positive energy and well-wishes as we tried to make this work. We genuinely appreciate each and every one of you.

Someone on a social media site mentioned that we probably lost babies because of Karma because I was rude to her at some (unknown but I'll take her word for it) point. I assured her that if I, of all people, was rude to her, it was because she must've really been doing something horrible. I also advised her that this isn't Karma. This isn't about attention. Someone else implied that I made this post seem very traumatic. Well...to me, loss is traumatic as a whole. When I say, "Heal from this loss", I mean that we need to accept it and decide what our future plans look like. Apparently, that was lost on some people. I do know that the majority of you understood what I meant. If you would like to lite a candle in memory of the babies gone far too soon and support of those who remain, please feel free to comment here or on our Facebook page with your image. I will post every comment for those purposes today. Thank you all. Much love and hugs. So long for now. George and Khrysti

Featured with the highest rank?!

Hi friends!! We posted a fund raiser event, in addition to Knotty Wicks, on a site called Celebrate Plus. A few weeks ago, I received an email from the owner of the site who asked for certain details and advised that he was featuring our post!! Below, is a copy of the original post by CP staff. ;)

Celebrate Plus shared a link. October 8 Khrysti & George have been trying for four years to have a baby. They need a surgery to have that baby. You can help: http://ow.ly/pCmlx

This morning I received this email!

Hello Khrysti, I am attaching a report that shows that the post about your campaign was the more popular and with the most clicks this past week. Unfortunately it hasn't translated to actual donations, but we ail keep insisting. Have a great weekend, __ Nelson

Needless to say, we are THRILLED about this! Below is our post from other social media. We haven't received any donations yet but the owner of Celebrate Plus is not giving up and we aren't either! ;) If you would, PLEASE share the post provided below to get the word out there about our story and our fund raising efforts. Thank you all SO much for your continued support, prayers and love!!

Hi all! This post, our story, ranked the HIGHEST on the Celebrate Plus site for traffic after we were featured! That didnt bring any donations or new orders yet, but the owner of CP isnt giving up so we arent giving up hope. PLEASE SHARE THIS! TY all so much for your support. Khrysti & George have been trying for four years to have a baby. They need a surgery to have that baby. You can help: http://ow.ly/pCmlx

The Goodies!!

Hi friends!! I was planning on posting this yesterday but really didn't feel like it after speaking with the friend I mentioned in "THE SIGNS" blog entry. Sooo...I wanted to share some of the new and exciting things we have added to Knotty Wicks and Destined for Heaven Memorials. Many of these items make thoughtful gifts for upcoming holidays, anniversaries and just as a token to show someone you care.

As many of you know, Knotty Wicks/Destined for Heaven was founded to help us fund the surgery I need so that we can have a healthy baby. ALL of the proceeds from sales are credited to that surgical account. The surgery I need is *not* covered by insurance so we have to pay cash for it. Anyway....below are the items for sale that are now posted on the site, located here: http://www.knottywickscandles.net/Products

Personalized Ornaments These ornaments are a perfectly clear bulb impressed with your favorite image or name of your loved one and tied with a little bow. The year 2013 is impressed on the reverse. Please place your order today to ensure delivery by December! Should you have any questions, please just let us know!

Cake/Holiday Cookies in a Jar We offer all natural cake and cookie mixes ready to mix and bake. Prepared by classically trained chef, George!

Infant Loss/Miscarriage Cards Set of 2 cards with your choice of personalized condolences for families suffering the loss of a child, infant or pregnancy.

Memorial Silicon Bracelet Our memorial silicon bracelets are available in regular or Halo/Wings Memorial. OK friends, so those are the most recent additions to the site. Please keep in mind that we do custom orders and if there is something you really want to have made, all you have to do is ask. ;) We are also offering pillar candles with your special poem, verse or loved ones photo/info impressed into the wax. Pics will be up shortly for those items. Thank you so much for following our journey and showing your support as we strive to reach our goal! So long for now, friends! Khrysti

The Signs!

Hi friends! Last night I was discussing a very serious situation with a friend of mine. Her family is trying to cope with the tragic passing of her newborn grandson. Though we have discussed this precious angel's passing MANY times before, tears were flooding my face as we discussed how this sweet baby's passing has affected her entire family. I really wanted to tell her that everything would be ok and that, some day soon, this would all be a horrible, distant memory. That's what I WANTED to say. What I had to say was quite different and it broke my heart to tell her so. I could hear the pain in her written words, I could see the hope fading and the comfort she found in some things being thrown to oblivion. I didn't sleep last night as I thought about my friend, her family and their situation. I'm tremendously touched by the strength and support they show for one another.

As the evening wore on and turned to early morning, another friend joined us and we tried to brainstorm, give comfort and be honest about what we thought the next step could be for this family. Somewhere toward the end of this several hour conversation, the subject of signs came up. Signs from our loved ones who are no longer on this earthly plain with us but who still send us messages to let us know they are ok. We were discussing how genuinely we pray for signs from our angels but often feel that our pleadings fall on deaf ears.

SOURCE: firstmiddlelast.com

I could see myself *almost* 13 years ago in my big, empty house all alone, cuddled up in bed, pillow soaked with tears desperately begging Hunter to show me some sort of sign, any sign at all, that he was safe, warm and happy. As the days turned into weeks, weeks to months...there were no signs. There was just emptiness and loneliness instead. It was like living in a dark, cold, bottomless pit. As my friends and I were discussing signs, I mentioned that I had been begging and pleading for signs for so long that I was missing them. The times when Hunter's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer music box would begin to play on it's own, the occasions when I felt as if there was someone there with me in an otherwise empty house, the instance when the 'Bright Yellow Savior' (Look to the right to locate this post.) suddenly appeared on the counter in my kitchen, the wreckless decision to drive through a solid red-light at an intersection when there was NO other traffic on the road there in mid-day. Those things WERE my signs. They were the signs that my precious boy was always with me no matter my location, was watching over me and was not only protecting me but others as well because I was too deep in my own grief to think clearly. Of course, some of those choices I deeply regret and am eternally thankful that I didn't hurt anyone else that words can't capture it. Sometimes, in order to see the signs from our loved ones, we need to stop looking and see that which is right in front of us.

So long for now, my friends. Hugs and love always! Khrysti

What *NOT* to Say When They're Not Expecting!

Hi friends! Tonight's post isn't something I wrote. It's a brilliant article from another couple, Candace and Chris Wohl, who are TTC and experiencing infertility. We found some of these replies hilarious and wanted to share them with you. This is not a stab or jab at anyone but we figured you all could share the giggle with us! Enjoy!!

A random picture of our kitty, Diva, for your viewing pleasure!;)

WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN THEY'RE NOT EXPECTING It is often said, and sometimes indelicately so, that you don't know what it is like to feel like someone else until you have been in their shoes. Although that is somewhat true, if we truly believe this, then no one would be able to relate to any other person on the planet ... the whole no two snowflakes are alike kind of thing. Everyone is an expert on making babies we found out. Good thing because I woke up today and thought to myself "Gee, I can't wait to talk to the checkout clerk at the grocery store about my broken uterus and why I am buying tampons instead of baby diapers." All snark aside, what do you say to someone who is suffering through infertility? We'll we can certainly share with you what not to say. Over the years we have pretty much heard it all. Being on the receiving end makes you feel very exposed, sad, somehow less human. It was like we just admitted that we lost the primal ability to procreate, or procreate easily anyway. If this has happened to you, we are sure that-regardless of the outcome-it was not an enjoyable experience. Or maybe you may know someone who is grappling with filling their empty nests, and can use some tips and mental slaps as what not to say. Therefore, we have made a list of the top 5 bonehead things not to say to people wrestling with infertility as well as cheeky responses that, if nothing else, you can think of in the moment. Chris, the other 'C' in our C&C will chime in as well on these. 1. Why don't you go on vacation? My friend _______ got pregnant that way. Candace- Well, we would love to go back to Mexico or somewhere else tropical and amazing, but oddly, all that is left in our vacation fund jar is dust bunnies and IOUs. We spent it on the $5K in meds that made me hormonal casserole and the $13K in IVF costs. Will you pay for us to go on vacation so we can make a baby like your friend _______ did? 2. Just means you get to practice more ... lucky man! Chris- Hmm, all the sex I can handle. That doesn't sound too bad. Unfortunately, it's all scheduled around ovulation, or transfers, or the last time we had sex, or Candace just had surgery, or whatever. Not only that, but the whole time you are thinking, "I wonder if this will work?" or "Why are we even doing this, it hasn't worked before." or "Alright, I need to make sure to get this over with so I can help Candace with some gravity-assisted fertility acrobatics." Talk about some erotic thinking! 3. Why don't you just adopt? Candace- Sure because it is really easy, no red tape at all! Now, all we need to do is drive over to the Adopt-O-Mart and pick out that cute little baby with blue eyes, blonde hair and the dimples! Why don't you give me the $30-60 thousand US that it costs to adopt? Better yet, why don't you make our profile book for the adoption agency, fill out the bazillion forms, hire an adoption attorney, freak out for us about our home study, provide proof of pet vaccinations, fingerprints, blood tests, anal probes, who knows what else on top of the costs to help us adopt? Oh, and then after jumping through flaming loops to adopt you get to wait a few years for you to get placed. 4. Why are you in such a rush to have a baby? Chris- Rush is kind of a subjective word. Molasses 'rushing' out of a container is still going pretty slow. We are 'rushing' to have a child if you consider the months-long process of IVF 'rushing.' We have 'rushed' through that process several times. We may even start to 'rush' through the 2-5 year adoption process soon. At that rate, our kids would 'rush' to graduate college just before we turn 60! 5. Don't you think you are trying too hard? Candace- Would you tell a cancer patient that they are trying too hard? How about somebody that is having trouble adjusting to a transplanted heart? Extreme analogies ... perhaps. The message here is that infertility is not sexual retardation. It IS a medical condition. What we need to keep in mind is that these comments are not personal attacks. They are insensitive, ill-timed, and just plain stupid BUT they are well-intentioned. Friends and family are grasping at straws to figure out what to say. It is awkward being in your childless shoes, and it is equally awkward in theirs. This has been a taboo topic for so long and no one really wants to make their baby-making activities public. For us, we had years of these instances to finally realize that educating our circle of support will help make this everyone. If you are on the other side of the coin, you are one of the people delivering these comments to a couple, our best advice is don't. It is difficult for any of us to hear a problem and not want to lend some one-line reply to help. Really though, it is often the person 'giving' the advice that feels better. You go away thinking, "Man, I am glad I could put their issue in perspective for them." Instead, offer your loved one support and encouragement, not the Spanish inquisition as to when they will start their family or why it is not working out. Or simply to quote my mom or Thumper from the movie Bambi obviously both sources that are profoundly wise, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". If you like our posts, check out our blog at www.ourmisconception.blogspot.com C&C from MTV's True Life Follow Candace Wohl on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rmisconception

$70 Shipping??

Hi all!

I have just been made aware the shipping issue on the website. Instead of charging per weight, it's charging PER ITEM. I apologize for the error. I'm working on getting it fixed right now. I will post again when I've fixed the shipping. If you wish to order in the meantime, please just send us a message and I will create an invoice for you with actual shipping. Thank you so much for your support and your patience!! K

God and Hatred?

Hi friends! So, tonight I responded to a post on a popular Mom's forum. The lovely lady who created the post shared her story of infant loss with us. When I saw the title of the post, I instantly felt that familiar knot in my throat and tears beginning to well in my eyes. I hadn't read the post yet but the title told me I was about to read a story of another angel mom's heartbreak. For her privacy, I'm not sharing the post but I will share this entry with her so she can comment if she feels compelled. As I read her detailed description of the loss of her baby, tears were streaming down my face. I could feel her words in my chest. That devastating pain, the disbelief, the odd feeling that provokes laughter because it's just too ridiculous to believe that babies die...that OUR babies die. We also struggle with the question in our minds whether we are still Moms since our babies are not here with us.

Poem Author:: JENNIFER WASICK

When I replied to her post, I was trying to find words to really articulate that I know exactly how she felt. I know my words fell short but I think that I really didn't have to say much for her to grasp that I know her pain all too well. I very briefly shared our losses and posted some of my absolute favorite poems/images. One mom replied to me asking if I talk to God. Reading her comment, I paused to think for a moment. I'm no longer an intensely religious person. I used to be. I haven't gotten back to that point yet. Yes, I believe in God. I do pray. I shared with this lady that when my first child, Hunter, was born sleeping, I HATED God. I called God every name I could think of. I told Him that I'd never, as long as I live, forgive Him for taking my baby. By this lady's next comment, I could tell she was, in the most gentle way she knew how, trying to tell me to turn to God to help me through the grief and anger we all feel with the loss of a child. I replied to her comment and told her the following:

....... At first, when Hunter died, I absolutely hated God. I called Him every name I could think of, told Him how much I hated Him. I had to have someone to blame when I ran out of reasons for it to be my fault so God caught the heat. I have asked for forgiveness and I have to believe that God knows what this pain is like. While I don't think He 'approved' of my anger and hatred, I think He understood it. I'm sure I'm neither the first nor the last to blame God. :( It took a VERY long time to come out of that.

As I wrote it, I could feel that anger try to creep it's way back up. Now, after 13 years, we are dealing with the loss of our twins. I didn't feel the same hatred this time. I was hurt and angry but I didn't have a place to lay the blame. There are two things this wonderful lady shared with me. One of them was something she was told by a friend:

When you ask God for forgiveness he goes to his black board and erases that sin or bad thing... its gone. He completely moves on and it's over. He always gives us chances.

As I read it, I could actually envision the blackboard and my hateful words scribbled in chalk. I instantly fell in love with this idea and asked if I could share it. Over the years, I did have to deal with some guilt of the things I had said to God. Even though I asked for forgiveness, I still felt some of that guilt. When I read about the blackboard, I envisioned that God and I were now ok. I know that my relationship with God isn't perfect, nor am I but I didn't mean those things I said and I believe He has forgiven me.

Source for blackboard image: heavenscross.com

The second thing this lady shared with me was a quote she opened right up to in a book she has. We were discussing that sometimes, I have nothing to say to God. Sometimes, I think certain things and I believe God can 'hear' me. She told me that in her book, it says that God can hear you during these times and if you need to, use them to communicate with Him. She said she wasn't sure why but that she felt she needed to share the following with me from her book:

"I am nearer than you think, richly present in all your moments. You are connected to me by love bonds that nothing can sever. However you may sometimes feel alone, because your union with me is invisible, ask me to open your eyes so that you can find me everywhere. The more aware you are of my presence the safer you feel. This is not some sort of escape from reality; it is turning in to ultimate reality. I am far more real than the world you can see, hear and touch. Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses." ~Source of original quote is unknown~

When I read the quote and her comment about not knowing why she felt compelled to share it with me, I instantly knew why she was moved to share it. I can only think that God told her, in some way, that she needed to share it with me. I have felt abandoned by God more than once in my life. The losses of my children were the most devastating events in my entire life for me. I realize that I still feel, in a small way, that God has abandoned me. It feels sometimes that He's left me standing out here, in what can be a very cruel, painful world, all by myself. I honestly believe there was a plan for this post on the site to show up today and speaking with this mom was no accident. I can't help but to be thankful and thank God for this. I will truly try my best to seek God more often than I do, especially when I feel that He has just left me all alone. I hope this post has some meaning for each of you and that it may touch you the way my conversation reached me today. Thank you all for all of your love and support! With wishes of many blessings for each of you....Until next time. So long, Khrysti

It's been a long time.

Hi friends! I know it has been quite a while since I posted my last blog entry. I apologize for that. Life has been quite hectic around here and we were taking some time to think about our goals. ;) We decided to revise a few of them a little bit and found ways to help us reach our goal to a healthy baby a little more quickly. In that time, a lot has happened. Our kittens are almost four months old, I've decided to take a position to work from home, we've decided to change our diets a little. I learned that one of my step-sons (from my ex) has a new family of his own, several friends have announced new babies on the way, a few friends have suffered losses, of their parents, other loved ones and pregnancies. It has been eventful, fun, strange, exciting and heartbreaking all rolled into one. No matter how many sad and disappointing things may happen in our lives, we have proof that it won't be that way forever. We have proof that there is a reason to have hope.

Source for photo and quote: Abeautifulmessinside.com During the last two months or so, I also lost my faith a little, decided I was going to give up then found a renewed sense of hope. I'm anxious for the next chapter. We are planning for a lot of wonderful new things in our lives. I've come to accept that no matter how much I want to, there are just certain things I have no control over and I have to let God lead the way. That is hard for someone like me. Someone who is a bit OCD, a little Type A and isn't very patient where certain things are concerned. lol I decided that tonight was a good time to write as the rain parades down the sun-lightened wooden pickets of our backyard fence. The fresh smell comforts in a way and washes away some things to allow the chance for a fresh perspective. Each new rain, just like each new day, is a chance to start over, make new plans. An opportunity to find appreciation for things we might have taken for granted and accept that life follows the path it is meant to. Today is a special reminder of those things. It is September 11, 2013. Twelve years ago today, I was in an executive suites hotel because we were having new carpet installed in our entire home. I was very happily pregnant and sleeping when my ex woke me up to tell me about the Twin Towers. My first thought was that it was a movie....it had to be. We were just in NY at the end of April visiting some of my family who still live there and everything was fine. As I heard the news in the background, I sat up, looked at the t.v. and watched as the second tower was hit. I was filled with disbelief, sadness and horror that such an accident could be happening right before our eyes. This was about 9:45-10:00am NY time and little was known at that point. I watched the news all day while at work, tried to call my relatives there and prayed they'd answer. The phone lines were busy every time we tried.

I did finally reach my family back home and everyone was ok. There were a few friends of theirs they were waiting to hear from. Those calls were mixed with both happiness and sorrow. As the hours turned to days, days to weeks and weeks to months, we all got back to our lives. I watched on t.v. and heard stories from my family of complete strangers coming together to support one another, offer comfort and rebuild. Though I was many, many miles away, I was touched by their strength, determination and compassion for one another. Today was a day in history that we won't ever forget, we will miss those we lost but we are also reminded of how important it is to band together and help others, even strangers. For that, I'm thankful! That's all for now folks but I'll be back tomorrow. I wish all of you comfort, a place to call home, that you are thankful for what you've got and that you are surrounded by people you love. So long, farewell for now, friends! Khrysti

Khrysti's Surgical Baby Fund | Medical Expenses - YouCaring.com

Khrysti's Surgical Baby Fund | Medical Expenses - YouCaring.com

Destined for Heaven Memorials

Hi all! Knotty Wicks Candles and The Cantrell Family Fundraiser is now offering Memorial Candles personalized with a photo of your loved one on them. The photos are electronically submitted so the bereaved can retain the original, we will print them and attach them to your candles. We are also offering customized Memorial bracelets. For information, please message or call at 719-429-9441. This offer also applies to Moms with angel babies as we have 3 angel babies of our own. We will lovingly accept ANY photos you have. We also have memorial bracelets. Bracelets are available for order on the website here: You can find our Destined for Heaven Memorials page on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Destined-for-Heaven-Memorials/489584797785459 PLEASE NOTE*** ALL proceeds are credited to our surgical fund to help us have a healthy baby after the stillbirth of our twins!

Kitties with Chicken and Fish

Photo Source~~Google Images

Hi everyone! Sooo...it's been an eventful week here at home. About a week ago, we adopted two of the cutest kitties ever! One, the girl, is white with a little grey-ish streak on the top of her head and the other, a boy, is solid black. We tried to adopt another kitty earlier in May but that fell through so we got these little angels from a friend. The first day/evening with us, Diva and Zodiac spent a good part of the time exploring the house and figuring out where things are. As the night approached, we got them to come out with us and gave them lots of kitty cookies. They rewarded us of course, by keeping us up ALL night playing. lol We didn't mind. I cuddled and played with them, gave them cookies and gave them some toys. That next day was fairly mellow. Zodiac got up on our bed and had his little paws stretched out on my pillow, his lower half tucked under the blanket. He's made himself comfy. Diva, on the other hand, wasn't so social at first. We had to the block every room but the living and our bedroom off because she crawled behind the water heater, then tried the stove and was making me nervous, then she went under the fridge. That was the end of that and I proclaimed it was time to block it off. She didn't spend long out with us though. She would come out periodically and just meow insanely for a second, we'd 'rescue' her from the awful, terrible floor, put her on the bed with us, then she'd jump off and go hide again. lol About 1pm, we realized we hadn't seen them for about an hour, hour and a half and searched the house exhaustively for them but couldn't find them anywhere. As George told me that they must've gotten out somehow, I denied that there was any way for them to get out, sat at my computer and realized that I was trying not cry. :( After George noticed this, he got back up to search again. After a few minutes, George came back with happy, sleepy kitties in hand. It seemed that Diva and Zodiac decided they were SO comfy that they would like to nap in a box propped up against the wall where I make the items for Knotty Wicks (www.knottywickscandles.org). That night, same tale. When they finally calmed down for what was left of the night, they slept between our pillows.

Source~~Google Images The third day with us, they were settled in just like family. Now, they REALLY got rowdy! ;) They would eat themselves silly between the kitty food and kitty cookies then sleep most of the day. At night though....that was a different story. lol Once the lights go out in the house for the night, it is KITTY P-A-R-T-Y TIME! We try to get them to calm down for the night by cuddling but that doesn't always work. We all enjoy the cuddle time just the same. Yesterday, as I was working at my laptop, Diva climbed up on to my shoulder and watched the screen as I typed. I looked at her, smiled and leaned over just slightly so she wouldn't fall off. ;) So, we've settled into our new role as kitty parents and are used to the miniature yet vocal meows to let us know it's time to eat, time to get in our laps, time to get on a bed, time to....well....do whatever THEY want. ;) Today, we gave them a little bit of fish. Then, after dinner, George picked a little bit of chicken breast off of his dinner and hand fed it to Diva and Zodiac. We often give them kitty cookies from our hands but Diva seems to think my fingers look like kitty cookies so we have started putting it down for them. They LOVED both the fish and chicken. They also seem to like the smell of pickles as they meow uncontrollably if one of us is eating a pickle. lol Yes, we admit that our kitties are spoiled silly but we wouldn't have it any other way. <3 <3 So long for now! Khrysti

It's a PARTY!!!

Photo Source~~ Don Johnston

Hi friends!! We are going to have a party!! We are going to have a Lia Sophia party on July 5th and the proceeds are being donated to Knotty Wicks Candles / The Cantrell Family Fundraiser to help us fund our surgery for a healthy baby after the still birth of our twins! A very lovely lady has reached out to us and offered to donate sales from her jewelry party to us to help us reach our goals!! There is something everyone can afford in this wonderful jewelry line! In addition, for our party, a special will be offered! Buy One, Get TWO HALF OFF! If you would like to attend this party, or would like to order, please message us or comment here! Thank you VERY much! Khrysti and George