Kitties with Chicken and Fish

Photo Source~~Google Images

Hi everyone! Sooo...it's been an eventful week here at home. About a week ago, we adopted two of the cutest kitties ever! One, the girl, is white with a little grey-ish streak on the top of her head and the other, a boy, is solid black. We tried to adopt another kitty earlier in May but that fell through so we got these little angels from a friend. The first day/evening with us, Diva and Zodiac spent a good part of the time exploring the house and figuring out where things are. As the night approached, we got them to come out with us and gave them lots of kitty cookies. They rewarded us of course, by keeping us up ALL night playing. lol We didn't mind. I cuddled and played with them, gave them cookies and gave them some toys. That next day was fairly mellow. Zodiac got up on our bed and had his little paws stretched out on my pillow, his lower half tucked under the blanket. He's made himself comfy. Diva, on the other hand, wasn't so social at first. We had to the block every room but the living and our bedroom off because she crawled behind the water heater, then tried the stove and was making me nervous, then she went under the fridge. That was the end of that and I proclaimed it was time to block it off. She didn't spend long out with us though. She would come out periodically and just meow insanely for a second, we'd 'rescue' her from the awful, terrible floor, put her on the bed with us, then she'd jump off and go hide again. lol About 1pm, we realized we hadn't seen them for about an hour, hour and a half and searched the house exhaustively for them but couldn't find them anywhere. As George told me that they must've gotten out somehow, I denied that there was any way for them to get out, sat at my computer and realized that I was trying not cry. :( After George noticed this, he got back up to search again. After a few minutes, George came back with happy, sleepy kitties in hand. It seemed that Diva and Zodiac decided they were SO comfy that they would like to nap in a box propped up against the wall where I make the items for Knotty Wicks (www.knottywickscandles.org). That night, same tale. When they finally calmed down for what was left of the night, they slept between our pillows.

Source~~Google Images The third day with us, they were settled in just like family. Now, they REALLY got rowdy! ;) They would eat themselves silly between the kitty food and kitty cookies then sleep most of the day. At night though....that was a different story. lol Once the lights go out in the house for the night, it is KITTY P-A-R-T-Y TIME! We try to get them to calm down for the night by cuddling but that doesn't always work. We all enjoy the cuddle time just the same. Yesterday, as I was working at my laptop, Diva climbed up on to my shoulder and watched the screen as I typed. I looked at her, smiled and leaned over just slightly so she wouldn't fall off. ;) So, we've settled into our new role as kitty parents and are used to the miniature yet vocal meows to let us know it's time to eat, time to get in our laps, time to get on a bed, time to....well....do whatever THEY want. ;) Today, we gave them a little bit of fish. Then, after dinner, George picked a little bit of chicken breast off of his dinner and hand fed it to Diva and Zodiac. We often give them kitty cookies from our hands but Diva seems to think my fingers look like kitty cookies so we have started putting it down for them. They LOVED both the fish and chicken. They also seem to like the smell of pickles as they meow uncontrollably if one of us is eating a pickle. lol Yes, we admit that our kitties are spoiled silly but we wouldn't have it any other way. <3 <3 So long for now! Khrysti

It's a PARTY!!!

Photo Source~~ Don Johnston

Hi friends!! We are going to have a party!! We are going to have a Lia Sophia party on July 5th and the proceeds are being donated to Knotty Wicks Candles / The Cantrell Family Fundraiser to help us fund our surgery for a healthy baby after the still birth of our twins! A very lovely lady has reached out to us and offered to donate sales from her jewelry party to us to help us reach our goals!! There is something everyone can afford in this wonderful jewelry line! In addition, for our party, a special will be offered! Buy One, Get TWO HALF OFF! If you would like to attend this party, or would like to order, please message us or comment here! Thank you VERY much! Khrysti and George

SPLISH SPLASH!! :)

New video for Knotty Wicks Candles and The Cantrell Family Fundraiser!! ;) SPLISH SPLASH!! www.knottywickscandles.org

A Video George Made for Me about Our Babies to Share with All of You!

A video George made for me...to share with all of you! ♥ ****The video DOES contain photos of our angels after they were born sleeping. ****

The Train from Vienna to Venice

Source for photo~~ Colourbox.com

A few people have told me just to give up on having a baby, that it's not meant to be, that God doesn't want us to be parents. At times, it's REALLY hard not to throw my hands up and give in. Anyway, I was watching a movie and one line from the whole movie stood out. The part I'm talking about is where a man who lives in Italy tells a woman having a VERY hard time adjusting to her new life that citizens of Italy once built a train track from Vienna to Venice before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. The point is that they built the tracks because they KNEW a train would eventually make that trip. Even though some days are super hard and we lose hope, I won't give up yet. We are going to believe that it WILL happen. I worry myself sick over whether we will be able to save for this surgery before I enter menopause. I have my days where I wonder if these mean spirited people have a point. Some days, its REALLY hard not to get angry and just say screw it all. I think we want this so badly, it starts to take over a little. Today was a quiet day around here. I tried to smile and look happy but inside, I wanted to cry. I know that we are good people, we try to help others as much as we can. We donate TIME, money, love, hugs and prayers to anyone who needs, wants or asks for it. I'm truly trying not to be bitter and give up. I do have some WONDERFUL friends who always try to pick me up when I'm down or tell me that the people telling us to just quit are wrong. I LOVE these friends of mine and I would be a mess without them some days. For now, I will try to keep my chin up, take ONE step at a time and remind myself how we got here in the first place and what we really want. We just need hope, faith and prayers to get us through. If you would like to help us EARN the funds we need for the surgery, we have a TON of items here for men, women, children and even pets that I custom make per order and the proceeds are deposited to our surgical fund. :) www.knottywickscandles.net So long for now, Khrysti

Flames Lead to Heroes!

~~As of right now, the source for this photo is unknown.

Hi everyone! It has been a hectic week here! We live in Colorado...not far from Royal Gorge and just South of Colorado Springs. On Tuesday, I saw a Facebook post about the Royal Gorge fire. I thought, "As in the bridge??". Long story short, I walked outside, near my neighbors house and this is what I saw: ~~Source: Khrysti Cantrell, the home in the photo belongs to our neighbor.

The fire, at that time, about an hour after being reported, had already taken down about 80-100 acres with ZERO containment. We watched and stressed and shared as the fire spread, striking down nearly everything in it's path. We prepared some things in case we had to evacuate. The wind kept blowing stronger and making us seriously worry for everyone's safety here. Less than 15 blocks away, they evacuated one of our local prisons to ensure it could be done in a calm, orderly fashion and they didn't have to rush. About 20 minutes after coming home from a trip to the store, I walked back outside and the air was filled with smoke and raining ash. We watched as THOUSANDS of acres were burned, many people and animals were evacuated from their homes and, further still, some people completely lost their homes. We thought, many times over, that we would have to evacuate but did our best to help with the Fire Fighters, animal relocation, food needed for those animals and more. I was really moved by how two communities came together to help one another. People from all over the world, friends of mine, consistently sent messages, texts, posts on Facebook asking if we were okay, had what we needed or had a place to go. There were days I was really worried about the winds blowing the fire here and making us evac. The one thing that remained constant for me was that I planned to take things we couldn't replace, like photos, things made for my children, etc. and leave the rest behind. In my mind, EVERYTHING else could be replaced. If we have the pics and trinkets we valued most and left with our lives and health in tact, we were ahead of this fire and we would beat it. The first night, we walked a total of ABOUT 30 blocks in the smoke and ash to make sure a friend's ill Mom was okay because she couldn't be reached by phone. The streets were empty, most street lights weren't on. It was an eerie feeling throughout our entire town. Over the next few days, we coordinated as much as possible with ANYONE who wanted to help. We managed to get Hay to horses who were evacuated, food and drinks to Fire Fighters and food/other care items for small animals evacuated because of the fires. <3 The fires are not out yet BUT we are at 30% containment in Colorado Springs and 40% containment in Royal Gorge. Many structures we lost but most everyone is safe!! Colorado Springs has lost about 10,000 acres. We (Royal Gorge) lost approximately 3,100 acres. We did, sadly, find the remains of two folks among the debris from the fires and their remains are being identified to notify family. Their demise is being investigated but is suspected to be as a result of the fire. May they Rest in Paradise. <3 <3 We send our love and prayers to their family and friends! <3 I must say, our Fire Fighters did a TREMENDOUS job of keeping all of us safe and tried to save as many structures as possible! No words could express how grateful we are for them, their commitment and diligence. We truly appreciate them more than we can express. Some people say that our little tourist town is now ruined and some are worried about our local economy now. We WILL rebuild and we have a LOT to offer the public/tourists in the mean time. We are NOT ruined and we will rise to help our little town recover, just as we did to help those affected. It is true that "Community Doesn't Burn Down"!! ~~Source: This photo was seen posted on one of our local highways. No one is sure who put it there!

So long for now! Khrysti

For those of you asking

Hi everyone. For those of you asking, we have created a home business to help us fund the surgery we need. The surgery and travel will cost us $8000 because insurance doesn't cover any part of it. We are given a 70% chance of a healthy pregnancy and baby with this surgery. You can find that link here: www.knottywickscandles.org For those of you asking about donations, that link is: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/khrysti-s-surgical-baby-fund/46048 Thank you!! Love, hugs and blessings to each of you! <3

The Bright Yellow Savior and the Hope to Carry On.

Hi everyone! I thought that my heart couldn't possibly shatter into smaller pieces after I laid my first baby, Hunter, to rest. I learned it was possible to hurt more when my twins, Seann and Gianna, passed from this world. At that point, I was positive I couldn't ever be hurt to that depth again. I have learned, once again, that I was wrong. Every time I see a new parent talking about their precious babies whether taken at birth, before birth or later in life, saying how much they miss them and would give anything for just one more day, I feel a tug at my heart, knot in my throat and tears in my eyes. I instantly wish I had a magic wand to make it better for them, to make their pain go away, to bring their babies back and make them whole again. I know I can't do that but it doesn't stop me from wishing I could. I see how differently some people handle this loss. Some scream, some cry, some shut down, some pretend nothing is wrong. I remember when my Hunter passed away, I hated his father (we are now divorced) for the way he seemed to go on with life, able to smile and laugh. I despised the way he could watch t.v. and actually see the pictures. The way he could eat and still taste the different flavors of the food. I despised the things I found out he did after Hunter was born, with another woman. I despised him. I despised life. In fact, we agreed that he should move out after Hunter was born. He did. I tried to pretend like everything was okay. I went to work, went to the cemetery and went home. I don't know where he went or what he did. By December, I had made a plan. On New Years Eve about 11pm, my mother called and asked if I wanted her to come over with her new boyfriend. I said no and that I was just going to bed. Of course, I sat alone, in my big, empty house. The t.v. was on but I wasn't watching. Instead, I was planning to end my life so I could be with my baby. I had it all planned and was preparing to carry it out. I walked to the kitchen, went to the cabinet and just then, I saw a bright yellow piece of paper that my Aunt in Law had given me weeks before and I had since misplaced. On that bright yellow paper was the number of a suicide hotline. The hotline had been created in memory of a young man who, for one reason or another, had found himself in the position I was now in and felt he had no one to talk to. The hotline had been started by his family. I grabbed the paper off the counter, took my phone off the cradle, slid down to the floor and dialed the number. A young man who couldn't have been older than his mid-twenties answered the line. He talked to me for nearly three hours, most of that time I'm sure he couldn't understand what I said through the tears. Whether he understood or not, he LISTENED! I'm sure that that young man saved my life that night. Had it not been for him, the hotline and the paper that my Aunt in Law had given me weeks before, I would have followed through with my plans. I'm SO very thankful that the young man was there that night. It has not been easy and though I still have a hole in my heart for each of my babies who should be with me and aren't, that young man gave me hope. He convinced me it wasn't my fault that my baby boy had died. He convinced me that I deserved to live and that the pain I felt that night wouldn't always be so strong. It would get better and my baby wanted me to be happy. Though we have had several miscarriages and our twins were born too soon not destined to stay, I know I can survive. I want to survive! I will FOREVER miss my babies, I will forever want them here with me, I will love them until the moon turns to rust but I owe it to them not to give up! They helped to form the best parts of me, the parts that make me want to help others when I feel down to my last drop of strength, the parts that let me know that I am strong and can live this life and be happy until we meet again. <3 The parts that make me want to keep trying and make it possible for us to have more beautiful, healthy babies that I can spend a lifetime with. If you or someone you know is feeling desperate, sad and as if suicide is the only option, PLEASE know **YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND THERE IS HELP!!** Below is the contact information for the suicide hotline. You can chat online with someone who will listen and they DO care!! All it takes is one call to save a life. *~*~*~* National Suicide Hotline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ *~*~*~* To reach the Suicide Hotline by phone, call: 1~800~273-TALK ~~That is 1~800~273~8255. If you don't feel like you can call that line, contact me. We care, we love you and we are here!! So long for now, sending love and hugs to each of you! Khrysti

Sometimes, you have to smile through your tears and remember why you've held on this long

At times, I feel like I'm fighting a battle I can't win. I just want to throw my hands up and surrender. Then I remember how badly I want to hold our baby, hear him or her giggling and cooing, have toys everywhere and too much baby laundry to do. I'm sure my dreams aren't a tenth of how wonderful that would be. I won't give up. No matter how many tears fall, how discouraged we may feel or how many times my heart breaks, I will NOT give up on our babies! We can do this. We WILL do this! Patience, will and prayer is what I really need right now. <3

Our New Youtube Channel~~ *PHOTOS*

Hi everyone! We created a Youtube Channel! Please bear with us as we figure out how to create new videos! ;) Some day, we truly hope to share videos of our babies with all of you! <3 You can subscribe here: http://www.youtube.com/user/Praying4BabyCantrell?feature=watch You can also find our site here: www.knottywickscandles.org

Would you like to help us have a healthy, happy baby while getting cool gifts for Father's Day?

Would you like to help us reach our goals so we can have a healthy baby? You can do just that while getting awesome, custom-made products for the Dad in your life!! Hi friends!! Father's Day is June 16th, 2013!! Right around the corner! We have TONS of gifts for Dad! We have homemade BBQ Sauce for Dad's famous cookouts, we have paracord bracelets in any color or design, we have Father's Day Gift Baskets and more @ www.knottywickscandles.org **Remember, proceeds from sales are also credited to our surgical fund to help us reach our goal of having a family after the stillbirth of our twins. Get something special for the wonderful Dad in your life and contribute to a wonderful cause! <3 If you would like to donate instead of purchasing product, you can do so here: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/khrysti-s-surgical-baby-fund/46048 Thank you all SO much for your support, prayers, hugs and wishes!! George and Khrysti

***URGENT PRAYERS NEEDED, PLEASE***

Friends: We need prayer BADLY!! I just spoke with my friend and her husband has been given 3 to 6 months, with his treatments. For those of you unaware, they just learned last night that he has Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer that has spread to his lungs. I know she is devastated and REALLY needs our prayers and support, in ANY form!! If you would like to help with meals, cards, prayers..anything at all, PLEASE PM me and we will coordinate to help this wonderful lady and her husband. Thank you so much! Khrysti

Some Day......

When you are dealing with infertility, no matter how many wonderful people and things are in your life, colors don't seem as bright, sounds seem slightly muffled, even the morning sun can seem sad. As you shove your way through the mounds of feelings that come with the contract of infertility, at some point, it is inevitable that you will feel like giving up. There will be days when you are determined to reach your goals, whatever they may be, and have the baby you have been dreaming of since what feels like the beginning of time. There are days when you become obsessed with having a baby and that is all you can think about. There are also days when you reason with yourself and accept that your body is defective, it's not going to happen and you just have to move on. Today is one of the days when half of me thinks it won't ever happen and the other half of me won't let myself give up. Today feels like one of those days when the $8000.00 we need to save for the surgery might as well be $80,000,000. I have been blessed with a hand full of friends who do their very best to bring me out of my 'funk'. Sometimes, they have to grab me by the shoulders, shake me, slap me a good one, metaphorically of course, and say, "Hey!! You DESERVE this! You are going to be a great Mommy! It WILL happen! Don't give up!". Naturally, these are the best of my friends and I would be lost without them! They listen as I explain, with a sort of whine in my voice and a knot in my throat that is forcing the tears back down, that I'm getting older by the minute and that being told I was entering Menopause in my early twenties is forever burned into my brain. It's burned like an oven rack that you accidentally get your arm too close to while taking cookies out of the oven. When my period is late, my brain plays cruel games with me. It allows me to think this could be 'THE month', then it sharply, rudely reminds me that even if it is, due to my one working fallopian tube, the egg will be damaged and result in another baby I will have to lay to eternal rest long before a person should ever die or a Mom should have to bury her baby. The natural order of things is that my children will bury me, long after I've watched them graduate high school, then college. Long after I cry tears of joy at their wedding and the birth of my Grandbabies. Long after I have held my Grandchildren and, if I'm REALLY lucky, my Great-Grandchildren. Of course, my children would be sad but they could say that I lived a very full life surrounded by the people I loved most. Though my heart aches like it has been ripped out, stomped on and set ablaze. Through tears that sting my cheeks and soak my pillow often fall late into the night as I miss my babies and long for the day I can hold them again, I will continue to fight. I will continue to pray. I WILL keep hope and keep sharing our links every day until we reach our surgical fund goal. I will have to be patient, I'll have to be calm but we WILL get there. Yes!! Some day you will see pictures of some of the cutest babies you have EVER seen! We will be holding them and able to call them our own. We will post pictures of silly faces, us playing in a home seemingly made of toys, bubbly baths with colored rubber duckies and soft, pastel-colored onesies and outfits. Some day we will hold our crying little munchkins and there won't be a more beautiful sound in the world than that of our babies voices. Some day, our dreams will come true. Some day.....